Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards
Chuck Norris is so awesome he created fire by rubbbing two ice cubes together.
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
Did you know Chuck Norris had a role in Star Wars......he was the force.
Chuck Norris smashed a mirror over a black cats head while standing under a ladder, then won the lottery
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
Graveyards originally had "Chuck Norris was here" signs but everyone knew that.
If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Chuck Norris once raced light. He is still waiting for it to catch up.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
The Black Eyed Peas were originally named "The Peas"....until they met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet
Chuck Norris can turn Toast back into Bread.
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Seconds.
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter
Charlie Sheen calls it 'winning'. Winning calls it 'Chuck Norris'.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick your cell phone and kill everyone in the address book
Before his rise to fame, Jaws was Chuck Norris's goldfish.
Chuck Norris doesn't age. He levels up
Chuck Norris does not have a middle name, nobody gets between Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
They once named a street after Chuck Norris, but they had to rename it because no one can cross Chuck Norris and live.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Guns are warned not to play with Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris were to ever run out of ammo, his weapon would continue to fire out of fear of disappointing Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
When Graham Bell first invented telephone he had 2 missed calls from Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris The Film in 3D was actually banned after the first showing when a 3D roundhouse kick accidently killed the entire audience
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Giraffes did not exist........until Chuck Norris upper-cutted a horse.
Chuck Norris once arranged his M&M's in alphabetical order.
People invented cars to get away from Chuck Norris, then they invented airplanes because they thought Chuck Norris couldn't fly.
When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.