Paint this picture in your mind: You’re at a bar, waiting your turn to grab the bartender’s attention, anticipating that Johnny Walker, a shot of chilled Patron or maybe just that frosty Budweiser when you overhear the guy in front of you place his order.
“Um, how about a Cosmo?”
This puss is not only ordering No. 1 on our list of drinks real men don’t order, but he is also preventing you from getting to your libation even sooner. Everyone within earshot is now giving him the stink eye. Don’t become that guy. A pattern that seems to arise from each of these drinks real men don’t order is reiterated in another of my articles, Girlie Drink Recipes. If you don’t already know, you will see that a good man’s drink should consist of very limited but quality ingredients and should often be delivered strong and with fruit as rarely as possible. With that in mind, here is a guide to drinks real men don’t order and a variation that makes them slightly more masculine and respectable.
These drinks real men don’t order are listed in reverse order, from “shouldn’t drink” to “shouldn’t be caught dead with."
No.10 - Tequila Sunrise
Ingredients: Tequila, orange juice and grenadine
Man it up: Try a Mexican Screw (Cabo Wabo Reposada Tequila and orange juice). It’s a great alternative to coffee at a dreaded brunch.
No.9 - Malibu & Diet
Ingredients: Malibu Rum and Diet Coke
The Malibu & Diet is a favorite of many college girls for its lack of calorie and carbohydrate content. Also, it’s an easy way to spot a Tri Delt on pretty much any college campus.
Man it up: Captain and Coke (Captain Morgan Rum and Coca-Cola). There’s nothing wrong with a rum and Coke when ordered correctly, just be sure to ask for the right variation.
No.8 - Fuzzy Navel
Ingredients: Vodka, Peach Schnapps, orange juice
When dealing with alcohol, “fuzzy” refers to peach and “navel” speaks of orange flavors.
Man it up: Screwdriver (vodka and orange juice). The Screwdriver is a classic cocktail found on many golf courses before an early tee time.
No.7 - Lemon Drop
Ingredients: Tuaca, Grand Marnier, sugar, and a lemon wedge
Man it up: A shot of chilled Tuaca. Its smooth and almost vanilla flavors make for a supremely easy shot that, with enough down the hatch, will put you on the floor nice and slowly.
No.6 - Amaretto Sour
Ingredients: Amaretto, sweet and sour and a maraschino cherry. A cherry? Enough said.
Man it up: Old-Fashioned Whisky Sour (whisky, sweet and sour mix and bitters). Ask the barmaid to skip on the cherry or you might as well curtsy when they deliver it.
No.5 - Strawberry Margarita
(or any frozen swirl)
Ingredients: Good question. Who knows what goes into that frozen margarita machine. In my years of restaurant experience I’ve known bartenders and beverage directors to start with a sugary mix, cheap scotch and Sprite, then finish with any bottle left collecting dust in the liquor cage. You don’t want to know about the morning we found a cockroach doing the backstroke on top of the neon green glacier.
Man it up: Top Shelf Margarita on The Rocks (Patron Silver Tequila, Grand Marnier, Cointreau, sweet and sour mix, lime juice, and ice).
No.4 - Wine Spritzer
Ingredients: Cheap wine and soda water, often garnished with fruit. Here is another example of taking a perfectly fine alcohol and destroying it. A great wine should stand on its own. A cheap wine should never be bought.
Man it up: A fat Cabernet or even a Malbec. The only way to go here is in the total and absolute opposite direction. Instead of lightening a crap wine with soda, go for the stuff that puts hair on your chest. A nice Malbec has the taste and smell of an Argentinean winery, slightly dusty and full of passion.
No.3 - Any Alcopop
These include such bottled delights as Smirnoff Ice, Two Dogs, Hooper’s Hooch, Zima, and Mike’s Hard Lemonade. These are fruity malt beverages ordered by women because they don’t like the taste of beer.
Man it up: If you must go for a flavored beverage, try out a Bud Light Lime. It is still pretty new to the scene, and although it is a beer, Bud Light Lime has found great success in the flavored malt beverage market that Smirnoff has dominated for years now.
No.2 - Appletini
Ingredients: Vodka and Apple Puckers. This drink breaks two of the cardinal rules of manly drinks: Always avoid fruity/sweet flavors and glow-in-the-dark colors.
Man it up: Bombay Sapphire Gin Martini (Bombay Sapphire Gin, vermouth, blue cheese stuffed green olives). The only thing green about a martini should be the olives in the bottom of the glass. “Shaken, not stirred,” of course.
No.1 - Cosmopolitan
Ingredients: Vodka, Triple Sec, cranberry and lime juice.
The Cosmopolitan is our No. 1 pick for drinks real men don’t order. It has two juices and three fruity flavors for Pete’s sake! And for what? To take the bite out of the vodka? In our opinion nothing screams “buy me diamonds” or “I planned today’s outfit last night” more than this incredibly unmanly beverage.
Man it up: Cape Cod (vodka and cranberry juice). Order with caution; this is a pink drink. As a general rule, men should never be caught dead with a pink beverage in hand, but this one is acceptable in some circles.
[source : http://uk.askmen.com/ ]
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